


13

by LanceALotz



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: AvaLance, Demon Hunt, F/F, Sad Ending but not too Sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2019-08-19 08:47:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16531307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LanceALotz/pseuds/LanceALotz
Summary: When Sara gets possessed by a demon, Constantine, in fear of what it can become and not knowing how to deal with the special circumstances, starts considering taking drastic measures. However, Ava doesn’t know the meaning of the words “give up” when it comes to Sara, and she will sacrifice everything to bring back the woman she loves, no matter the cost.





	1. Anima Excrucior

**Author's Note:**

> I really, really need for the writers of LoT to stop making Constantine want to kill Sara and separate her from Ava or else I'm gonna start hating him for real, and I think he's an awesome character who could be wonderful for the show. I'm going to try and write him a bit softer.

“Where’s Sara?” Ava asked skipping any form of greeting

“Good evening to you too, sweetheart.” Constantine replied seemingly amused “We’ll get to that in a minute. We have more urgent matters we need to tend to for now. Follow me, love”

Ava followed Constantine silently through the corridors to the ship’s library. The place, usually kept neat, was a complete mess with books and papers scattered everywhere and snack wrappings all over the floor.

“Be careful where you step on. Those books are rare and very expensive”

Ava watched with a grimace set on her face as Constantine performed some sort of ridiculous dance dodging obstacles to get to the table in the center of the room. Ava followed him shortly with a reproving look, while she cleared up a path to the table and left the pile of books on an armchair.

“It’s called ‘anima excrucior.’ or tortured soul.” Constantine said pointing at a picture on a worn out book and closing it before Ava could have a proper look at the page “It’s a type of parasite demon which is drawn by strong emotions. They normally feed on their host’s feelings: love, happiness, hatred, pain... you name it; and once the poor chap or gal is drained they leave in pursuit of another victim. Under normal circumstances, these creatures are mostly harmless and fairly easy to apprehend. The host ends up in relatively good shape, safe for transitory apathy and, on rare occasions, memory loss. Problem is, as you know, pet, when we’re dealing with Sara Lance things tend to get complicated.”

“Complicated how?”

“Sara and the anima have somehow melted together. The creature must have been attracted by Sara’s recent grief for the loss of her father. Or by her feelings for you. Perhaps by a strange, powerful mixture of both, but my theory is that it ended up feeding on Sara’s darkness instead. And now the creature has either hit the jackpot and doesn’t want to leave her or it simply can’t. Nevertheless, we’ve got ourselves a real monster. I’ve called you because of, you know” he added arching an eyebrow suggestively “the ‘deep’ connection you two have” and he winked thereupon “It proved to be quite handy last time. I have high expectations that with you the exorcism may work”

“I’ll do whatever you need me to do, but next time make sure you call me as soon as you find out Sara’s in trouble, not when you considered it appropriate because I could be useful. And you still haven’t told me where she is” Ava replied refraining herself from sending a right jab straight onto his jaw. She knew she shouldn’t dislike him, that he now was somehow part of the team, but she couldn’t help not trusting him, and what scared her the most was that it might not be only the jealousy she shouldn’t be feeling what made her see him that way. There was something shady about the man, about how he was always ready to give up on Sara and let her die as if she were something worthless instead of the extraordinary woman she had proven to be.

“She’s been contained in a safe place. There’s a subterranean island in the middle of a lake of holy water. She’s fighting the demon and was still in control when I left. Palmer and the drunken idiot are guarding her. I told them to tell me if there was any change and I haven't heard from them, so either everything's fine or they're dead. I must warn you of one other thing; If we can’t manage to get them apart soon, we may have to take drastic measures”

“If you’re implying killing Sara, let me tell you now that option is off the table”

“Look, love” Ava rolled her eyes on hearing that nickname “There’s no record of anything like this ever happening before so there’s no way to know the extent of the problem we’re facing. If it comes to choosing between Sara’s life and the fabric of the universe...”

“Then let’s make sure we don’t have to choose”

“Don’t get me wrong, love. I know you think I don’t care about Sara, but I do. However, I also know better than to ignore the dangers of the darkness inside her. If it is unleashed, it can destroy the world in a heartbeat. I’ll do what I have to do if it comes to it.”

“She’s stronger than any darkness. You need to believe that in order to help her.”

“Your faith in her is laudable, Sharpie, but it won't be enough to save her, shall the beast take control.”

“I hope it won’t come to that, Constantine, but I’ll do whatever it takes to stop you if you try to hurt her, am I making myself clear?”

Constantine stared at her for a long time with a mixture of awe and amusement.

“Let’s see where this gets us. C’mon. I’ll take you to her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have several options to go on and I can't decide which one to follow after the exorcism which, surprise, is not going to work, so I apologize in advance if it takes me too long to update.


	2. The Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava tries to convince Sara not to give up after magic proves to be ineffective to separate her soul from the demon.

The exorcism seemed to have worked at first.

Sara had been lying on her back with her eyes closed when they arrived, encircled by seven crystals arranged around her forming a heptagon, their power being the only thing preventing her or the demon from getting out. As soon as they had started the chanting, the anima could be seen stretching, being pulled out of Sara’s body contorted in pain. The mouth of hell waited for its prize patient, expectant, as the blurry form unwillingly abandoned Sara’s body really slowly stretching into a formless mixture of a bright light encircled by black and red shadows. Suddenly, Ava noticed Sara’s eyes. Their icy blue had lost its characteristic brightness and they were lifeless, wide open, eternal as only something that’s not alive can be and only the blank expression of a corpse remained on the face Ava knew so well.

Ava stopped the chanting and yelled to Constantine to do the same “Something’s wrong. Stop”

“What are you talking about? It is working. Keep on repeating the enchantment before it’s too late”

“Look at her eyes. She’s not in there.”

Constantine looked at Sara’s blank expression and realized, with a mixture of surprise and terror, that Ava was right.

“Fuck. We can’t risk it” Constantine muttered quickly avoiding looking at Sara and beginning to show evident signs of weariness.

“Please. Just give me a little time. You know we can find a way.”

Constantine lowered his hands and almost simultaneously the jaws of hell clenched tightly, making the gate disappear in the blink of an eye as the anima crawled back into Sara’s body, which convulsed violently for a few seconds before her chest rose pushed by a deep breath.

“Damn it, Sharpie. I really hope you know what you’re doing.”

Ava ignored his words and moved as close to Sara as the protective spells allowed her to, scrutinizing her in search for any sign that Sara was gone “Sara? Sara, baby, look at me.”

Sara opened her eyes and turned her head towards Ava. Ava’s first conscious breath since she had put a stop to the exorcism was a sigh of relief. Life had made its way back into the woman’s eyes. Ava turned her attention to Constantine “She’s still here. We must find another way”

“I’m the expert on magic, love, and I haven’t got the faintest idea of how to proceed, other than the exorcism. We’re lucky enough it worked. We may not be so lucky next time. Whatever this is. It’s getting bolder and cleverer by the minute.”

Sara turned around and crawled over to the edge of her prison. “Hey, Aves” she whispered. “Don’t— Don’t let me become it. Please. I can’t become a monster again.” 

“You won’t. I promise”

“These last few months have been incredible. You came into my life when I had given up hope on myself. You and the team are everything I could ever have dreamed.”

“Sara—”

“Hey. It’s alright to let me go if the time comes. I’ve got from life more than I ever deserved. I couldn’t have been happier so it’s ok. Whatever happens, it’s ok. I was never going to be worthy of you, anyway”

“Don’t say that. You promised, remember? That you would stay. ”

“I’m so tired”

“You’re the strongest person I know. You just need to hold on a little longer, ok, babe? I think I have a way to bring you back . You hear me? Hold on ”

“Ava?” Sara’s eyes rest upon Ava’s, trying to tell the other woman everything she’s too exhausted to say with words “I love you so fucking much.”

“Don’t give up. You promised”

 

* ****************************************************************************

 

_ Sara was nervous. She had postponed the conversation with Ava about their feelings in hope that it would be the other woman who’d approach her and tell her her stupidity was both forgiven and forgotten; that they were together again and she wouldn’t have to spend another night alone, craving the touch of the woman who could make her vibrate in a thousand different ways. _

_ They had been texting, and their exchanges were cordial; friendly enough to know Ava wasn’t going to run away the minute Sara entered the room she was in, as she had done the first couple of weeks after their breakup, unless a pressing work matter prevented her from doing so. Still, Ava hadn’t shown any sign of wanting her back. Not since the day Mallus had finally been defeated two long painful weeks before. _

_ She excused her cowardly behavior by saying she should wait to see the extent of the damage freeing Mallus had caused, but after so many days without as much as a hint of magical activity, she had to admit that her procrastination was coming from a different place, from the fear that she had ruined it all. Finally, resisting the urge to drown a few shots of the strongest liquor in her possession, she decided she owed Ava the truth, and that she’d most likely feel better after unloading all the emotions piling up in her chest. _

_ Can we talk? 17:59 _

_...Aves is typing… _

_...Aves is typing… _

_...Aves is typing… _

_ Sure. What do you need? 18:04 _

_ I mean in face to face 18:04 _

_...Aves is typing… _

_...Aves is typing… _

_...Aves is typing… _

_...Aves is typing… _

_...Aves is typing… _

_...Aves is typing… _

_ Yeah. I can drop by at lunchtime tomorrow 18:09 _

_ Can I go over there now? It’ll only take a minute. 18:10 _

_ I’m at a meeting . Can’t it wait till tomorrow? 18:10 _

_ Ok . 18:11 _

_ Are you sure it can wait? Is it the anachronism you were dealing with? 18:11 _

_ Gary said you had it under control, but I can send someone. 18:11 _

_ That won’t be necessary. _

_ See you tomorrow. 18:13 _

_ Sara’d been pacing up and down the room checking her phone every few seconds expecting Ava would text her any minute with a lousy work-related excuse to stand her up or simply send someone else, something which, to be fair, she might deserve after she’d chickened out of the best relationship she’d had in years, in 32 years to be precise if she subtracted the year she’d been dead and added the two she’d been left stranded in the past together with Ray and Kendra. She’d come to the point that she hardly knew what to reply if someone ever dared ask what her age was. _

_ It was nearly midnight when she decided she had waited enough and portalled into Ava’s living room announcing her presence with a loud “Ava?” Sara jumped when Ava finally appeared in front of her, looking concerned and even more gorgeous than she remembered. She was still wearing the shirt and dark pants of the uniform, but she was barefoot and her shirt, instead of being neatly tucked under the waistband , was floating around her hips accentuating her curves. Suddenly the words Sara had carefully planned flew away, leaving nothing but a pressing urge to throw herself into the other woman’s arms . _

“ _ Sara. Oh my god? Are you alright? What’s going on?” _

“ _ I was waiting for this to unfold on its own, thinking that, maybe, you needed space and that if I made the first move, I’d ruin things between us for good, but if I’ve learned anything these past few years is that you need to face things as they come, and never postpone the inevitable. Also, I’m not one to wait.” _

“ _ What are you talking about?” _

“ _ I owe you an apology.” _

“ _ Sara, you don’t need to—” _

“ _ Believe me I do. I love you. I love you. I fucking love you and I need you to tell me there’s still an us. Because before Ray interrupted our conversation bringing Nora freaking Darhk into scene, I was going to tell you all of this and you seemed to be on the same page, but now it’s like there’s this wall between us, we’re back to being civil like we don’t know each other and I don’t want you to be civil. I want you to rip my clothes off and let me fuck you senselessly until you forget I’ve been a coward and an asshole.” _

_ Ava’s face went from concerned to amused to flushed and back to concerned again. She adopted her defensive posture, with her arms crossed over her chest all while her eyes scrutinized Sara’s, demanding answers. “I wasn’t sure, after how I reacted when you said— you know...” _

_ “That I love you?” _

_ “Yeah. I thought maybe you’d regret saying it” _

_ “At first I did. I know I spooked you, that I was too direct, that I dove into this head first after I had chickened out of it” _

_ “I think I may have an idea of why you did what you did.” _

_ “You do?” _

_ “You saw I was in too deep and didn’t want to hurt me” _

_ “Not even close. ‘I’ was in too deep. All these years of rolling around my own loneliness and suddenly I was overwhelmed with all these feelings and I— I completely panicked.” _

_ “Oh” _

“So I need to apologize.  _ In the first place, I’m sorry I left you the way I did. We had something kind of perfect going on and I ruined it.” _

“ _ You were going through a lot. I’m not going to pretend I wasn’t hurt, but I know you thought you were trying to keep me out of harm’s way. I can work with that” _

“ _ That’s not all. I’m also sorry that I lied to you.” On hearing Sara’s words, Ava adopted a quizzical expression “When I told you we couldn’t be together, I said I was doing it to protect you. That was partly my intention, yes, but I was trying to protect myself as well.” _

“ _ I don’t understand” _

“ _ The things I’ve done… You know most of the facts. But you don’t know what it did to me; what it turned me into. After the first kills I stopped feeling sorry for my victims or caring if they had done something to deserve capital punishment, if they had a family that would miss them. _

_ “You were protecting yourself. You did what you had to do to survive” _

_ “I can’t help but wonder whether I should have died. That thought clung onto me like a shadow while I made it through every day. Until you arrived, that is. I had hope for the first time that maybe I could go back to having a normal life, without my past breathing down my neck, haunting me with nightmares. But deep down I feared what your reaction would be if you knew the person I really am deep within; The cold, ruthless assassin. The same that keeps on feeding my inner demons and the darkness I brought with me from the other side. I’m still afraid, that if you have me back, you’ll run away the minute you realize what’s underneath the surface. And, to be honest, seeing how much losing you hurt after only being together for a few weeks, I couldn’t help but applaud my decision when you were gone, thinking about how painful you leaving me would have been if we’d stayed together for months or even years before you saw the real me.” _

_ “You don’t know that I would have left” _

_ “That was also scary. I’m also afraid that you loving me may one day let me forgive myself and forget about all the pain I’ve caused. A part of me wants to hold onto that pain but I also need you to still want me after you’ve learned the kind of monster I am. And I want you to know that no matter how selfish this may seem, I love you with all my heart, dark as it is.” Sara’s eyes were fixed on her own hands. Heat rose to her face making her a little dizzy. _

_ “Sara, look at me.” Ava placed her hand under Sara’s chin running a line with her thumb from her lips to the dimple there and had the other woman lift her head to face her. Sara’s eyes were wide shut, while a thin silvery stream flowed down from both her eyes. _

_ “I can’t” Sara managed to reply in a voice so low that it was barely audible. _

_ “The fact that you feel remorse tells me that the idea of you being a monster is all nonsense, hun. You’re the furthest thing from a monster” Ava placed her lips softly over Sara’s forehead, then her eyelids and cheeks, then she held her so that her mouth was leveled with Sara’s ears and she could proceed with her speech in soft whispers “You did awful things after awful things were done to you. You wore a mask, pretending to be someone other than yourself in order to get through hell. Your only other choice was death and I am fucking glad you chose to live, you hear me? I know you’re haunted by the persona you pretended to be, that you’re scarred and will always be. I just want you to know how much I love you with all your scars, whether they are marking your body or imprinted on your soul. They have made you into the incredible person you are now, the Sara I adore, the unique woman of a thousand layers. I already know who you are. I just need you to trust me. I need you to promise me that you won’t give up on yourself.” Sara let out a mournful sob digging her fingers into Ava’s back, clinging onto her desperately “Sara, my love, look at me” _

_ With puffy eyes, the assassin obliged. It was a good while until she finally spoke “I trust you, Ava, but--” _

_ “No. No ‘buts’. Can you make that promise?” _

_ Sara held her gaze for a few more seconds before nodding, this time with a look of determination “I won’t give up on myself. Or us. I promise” Both women searched for the other’s mouth with their own. Ava’s lips were parted, fact that Sara took advantage of, letting her tongue cross the next barrier. In a matter of seconds both women melted into an embrace, breathless. _

“ _ Does this mean I can call you my girlfriend again?” _

“ _ Uh-huh. Now, do I remember hearing something about you wanting to do something to me?” _

 

* ****************************************************************************

 

Ava looks away from the woman she loves, who is now sitting with her legs crossed, immerse in meditation. Constantine produces a cigarette from behind his ear and lights it. “I really hope you have a plan and that it’s a good one, sweetheart. Because the demon won’t let go. They are fused and there’s nothing magical I can do to separate them.

“I have an idea that I believe may actually work. Maybe magic isn’t what we need this time. I’m taking Ray with me but I’ll send over Nate and Gary.”

“Do you think Gary will be of any help if hell breaks loose, pet?”

“Oh, no. At the first sign of danger, tell him to run. If anything happens to him, it’ll be on you . I just want him to warn me if you try to pull something stupid while I’m gone.”

“Look who’s a twisted one. I’m starting to like you Sharpie. Tell the lad to bring some cards and a bottle of bourbon. Please?”

Ava rolled her eyes for all answer and threw one last look over at the spot where Sara was before opening a portal. “Ray?” The man, who’d been filling flasks with holy water and scattering them all over the cave island following Constantine's orders, approached them with a frown.

“This doesn’t look good. What are we going to do?”

”I’ll explain. Come with me, please. I need your help”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken so long. Work has been keeping me busy and I seem to have forgotten how to speak English. I hope I'll have more time after the second week of december and I can have some more writing done before 2019. I hope the wait was worth it.


	3. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Sara and Ava keep on getting reminders of how much they mean to each other and Ray saves Ava from desperation by being Ray and helps her shape her plan.

_Ava opened her eyes with the certainty that she shouldn’t have fallen asleep. The dim light fell over Sara’s skin making her deem it even more appealing; and it danced in her eyes, those two impossibly blue stars calling for mischief. She recalled swearing to herself that she was going to stay awake until Sara was asleep next to her so that she could memorize every freckle peppering her face. “You’re even more adorable when you sleep.” Sara muttered as she moved closer making Ava suddenly aware of their nakedness and everything that had gone on mere hours before; their date ending abruptly leaving both of them angered and frustrated, the pirates, their kiss, more pirates, the admittance on both sides that they had screwed up, the admittance on both sides that they were a little scared of how they felt, their mouths everywhere, Sara panting against Ava’s ears, repeatedly coming under her touch… Ava recalled every second as a blush made its way onto her face “You look so peaceful… relaxed.”_

_“Oh my god. I fell asleep while you were talking. I’m so sorry. That was incredibly rude.” Ava apologized, grimacing._

_“Don’t worry, miss Sharpe. You’re off the hook this time. I think it’s safe to say you were all worn out after our little skirmish before. I wanted to make sure you ended up exhausted so you wouldn’t have the time to even consider leaving my bed before morning.”_

_On hearing Sara’s words, Ava’s lips curled into a smile “It’s good that you mention that, because  I wasn’t sure if you’d want me to spend the night after I invited myself into your bedroom last night.”_

_“I loved that you did so. I was afraid me being too forward might scare you off. I wasn’t expecting you to be so bold, though. It was hot” Sara teased right before pressing her lips to Ava’s “Really, really hot”_

_“About that… I’m not usually like that and I really need to let this out now because I don’t want to beat about the bush, but I —I don’t usually do one-night stands”_

_Sara sat up leaning on her elbow, staring at Ava with worried eyes “Is it what this is?” she exclaimed._

_“I was hoping not?” Ava blurted with an inquiring frown_

_“Good” Sara proceeded to flip them so Ava was on her back and, after letting her eyes linger over the other woman’s over the course of a few intense seconds, she lowered her head and began laying kisses on her face en route down to her neck “because I want more of this”_

_“You mean like right now?” Ava complained weakly, still half asleep, at the same time a smile was drawn on her lips._

_Sara smirked “I mean long term...” Then resumed her task making sure the kisses were placed on the right spot and gaining intensity “...but starting right now. Why? Do you want me to stop?” She switched her attention to Ava’s ear making her way up there trailing a path with her tongue “I can stop right now if you’re too tired” She whispered hungrily right before she grabbed Ava’s earlobe between her teeth with delicacy, making the other woman groan and contort her body with need._

_Next thing Sara knew, Ava was on top of her kissing her hard and the hand Ava had sliding down between their bodies had already made her forget all of the teasing she had thought she had in store._

 

***************************************************

 

“So, what do you think, Ray? Does it make any sense?” Ava was pacing up and down the control room, her hands laced behind her back in what Ray had learnt to interpret as a sign of nervousness rather than the exert of power it was meant to display.

“This is insane. You know this is insane, right?”

“Right now, insane is all that’s keeping us from losing Sara.”

“Yeah. I mean, we’re used to crazy being the only solution on a daily basis, but I was kind of expecting with you here we’d be able to have a nice, timely, carefully planned, good old logical solution.”

“Well you can’t expect me to have planned anything for the unexpected in advance, can you? Besides, I’m offering you a scientific solution; it can’t get any more logical than that. For fuck’s sake, Ray; does this mean you don’t think this is going to work?” Ava wanted to know, disillusionment written all over her face. “Because unless you have other options to bring into consideration…”

“Yes, no, I mean... I think—” Ray hid his face in his hands and stood there quietly for far too long for Ava’s heart to handle. She was about to start shaking him when, all of a sudden, he looked at her and grabbed her arms with great excitement imprinted in his voice “I think it may actually work, but, umm.... The theory will need further development and some testing, of course — although we don’t have any subjects to perform the testing — but hey! Gideon can assist us with her simulation software” Ray chanted mostly to himself. Then, something switched in his expression and looking back at Ava with obvious admiration, he added “The idea is kind of genius, actually. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. Simple electricity. Of course it makes sense. I wish it had occurred to me sooner. I’m almost mad at myself. How did you come up with it?”

“It’s the best thing about having your memories implanted; you can have all the knowledge required to hold several PhDs and and never have set foot in college.”

Ava’s calmly uttered words hid a desperate note that wasn’t left unnoticed. Ray stopped walking for a second, regarding Ava with curiosity. The woman turned back to face him wincing with shame, and gave him an apologetic smile realizing how pathetic and petty it had to seem that she was complaining about her own insecurities at such a delicate moment. She was met with the understanding eyes of someone whom she knew she could now call a friend. Someone who, not only hadn’t treated her any differently after finding out about her origins, but also had kept her secret until she had felt she was ready to share it with the world “Well, the knowledge may not have been acquired in the traditional way, but the credit for the idea is all yours. I’m still very much impressed. And I must admit, a little jealous.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound…”

“Hey. C’mon, Ava. It’s perfectly understandable and we can talk about this any other time, just say the word, but now we need to focus; we have a captain to save”

As they walked the corridors heading to the lab accompanied by the cheerful tone embedded in Ray’s words as he narrated excitedly his plans and preparations for the experiment, her mind travelled back to the day they’d met. She felt a pang of guilt at the thought of how she’d felt an exacerbated level of satisfaction when she had pinned him down onto the floor using too much force and causing him unnecessary pain. “Here I thought you were being sceptical and all of a sudden you are all convinced we got this. Do you really think it is going to work?” Ava asked

“One would expect we'd deal with a demonic possession using magic, which is something I know nothing about, to be honest. Now we're speaking science and that a language I certainly understand, so, yeah. I’m sure we’ll find a way to make it work.”

“Do you ever not see the bright side of things?”

Ray seemed to meditate for a few seconds without losing his smile. “As Confucius said, ‘The man who says he can and the man who says he cannot are both correct’ I choose to think there’s always a way if we keep on trying and don’t lose faith in our capabilities”

“I wish I could be that optimistic. Still, it helps that you are. You’re a wise man, and a good one, too.”

“Ava” Ray started when they got to the lab. Then he cleared his throat nervously before daring to go on “I know you’ve been going through a rough patch lately and you may not see it this way, but I really do think you’re special. You may be physically identical to thousands of people, but it’s you who’s fought her way up and become the director of the Time Bureau.”

“Actually, apparently I’m the twelfth Ava to play this charade. Eleven others died before me. I’m afraid to look at my record and see how long my life has really been. For all I know, the Ava I believe to be could have died and been replaced since I — she — last spoke to Rip. Maybe I’m the thirteenth, or the twentieth. I can’t tell the difference, I can’t tell when my own life began, why would anyone else be able to?”

Ray seemed to be in shock for a few seconds, staring only at his feet. “God, Ava, I’m so sorry. I can only imagine what you are going through.” Then, as if his every move was pushed by an invisible energy, he started grinning and placed a comforting hand over her arm “Still, I’m convinced the Ava who made Sara fall in love with her is the same ‘you’. It has to be. You are unique. I haven’t met anyone who has the effect you have on her and I refuse to believe that such power can be transferred from one being to another the way you’d save a file on a hard drive. Your memories are information, and ok, It may be possible to codify them into ones and zeroes, but your heart, Ava, your heart is your own and, no matter how clever you are, what ultimately saved Sara when she was possessed last time was your mutual love for each other. You see? You can't think you're like a computer even for a second when your heart has proven to be your greatest strength.”

Then, seeing how Ava’s confidence was at least partially restored and remembering how much was at stake and how the time they greatly needed was passing by, Ray added in a much lighter tone “There’s no one else in this world who can turn our fearless captain into a soft kitten; that must surely mean you are the most powerful person on Earth. We got this, Ava.”

Ava looked away trying to hide the tears prickling in the corner of her eyes. "Thanks. I needed that" she whispered."Let's do this."


	4. Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things keep on getting complicated for the Legends as nothing they try seems to work. Ava clings onto memories of when Sara helped her deal with the truth about her past, trying not to give up on the only thing she knows for sure is real in her life.

“Oh no. Damn” Ray was staring at the formulas and equations scattered all over the whiteboard, a worried expression depicted on his face. “Ava, I’m so sorry, but if my calculations are correct, there’s no way that we can extract the anima from Sara without killing her.” 

Ava held her breath for a long minute as a sensation of panic took over her whole self “No. No, no, no, no, no. That can be correct. Can you check that again? Maybe you’ve made a mistake.”

“Sure, but Ava…”

“Never mind. Of course you haven’t made a mistake. I just— fuck. There’s not even the slightest chance of survival?

“I am afraid not, unfortunately. It would be impossible for anyone to undergo this voltage, not with the kind of resistance we would be needing for this to work.”

“Fuck!”

“I don’t suppose you have another plan in store, right?”

“I can’t think of— Wait. Gideon. Could you keep her alive if the procedure was performed in the medbay?”

“I’m afraid not, Director Sharpe. The tissue in Sara’s organs would be immediately too damaged for me to repair. The kind of current Mr. Palmer is talking about would burn any organic matter to a crust instantly. 

“Ava—” Ray stared at Ava’s blood-drained face for a few seconds making attempts at finding the right thing to say and failing. Both looked on the verge of tears. What her eyes met when she dared look at Ray was the most appalling thing she thought she could see on that man’s face; defeat.

The hand Ray placed over her shoulder laid limp, lifeless over Ava’s blazer. Ray’s gesture, which was meant to be comforting and reassuring, failed miserably when it was clear he was just in as much of a shock, as clueless as to how to proceed as she was. 

“I really thought it would work.”

“There’s still time. This is a setback, but there’s still time. And in case we can’t come up with a solution in time, we could always try with a smaller charge. A non-lethal shock could help us somehow. Go check on Sara if you want. I got this for now.”

  
  


***********************************************************

 

_“Do you really need to put on clothes in order to sleep?”_

_“I do whenever we’re staying at your place. I’m afraid someone’s going to suddenly run into the room yelling because of some stupid emergency”_

_“So... that’s why you keep on throwing random looks over my shoulder when we’re making out? You know doors can be locked, right? Gideon, tell Ava the door is locked, please”_

_A clicking sound came from the door. “It is now, Captain. Would you also want me to lower the lights a little bit more?”_

_Ava raised her eyebrows in exasperation and gave Sara a knowing glare “I rest my case”_

_“Don’t be such a bore. No one in my crew is stupid enough to walk into my room without my express permission. At least not without a good-ass excuse.”_

_“I’m afraid their idea of what a good excuse is differs greatly from mine” Ava countered, although she looked mostly convinced and quite far from annoyed._

_“C’mon, stop whining. The door is locked now” Sara purred crawling over to the other side of the bed where Ava was sitting and after pressing a kiss to the top of her head, she grabbed the hem of the pyjama top her girlfriend had just put on. “Let me help you out of this cruel barrier separating me from your wonderfully smooth skin. Then she whispered a soft “Please?” into Ava’s ear, giving her goosebumps and the idea that maybe she wasn’t so tired after all._

_“Mmmpf. You win, but only cos you’re asking nicely”_

_“I’ll let you keep your panties on as a concession.” Sara winked “For now.”_

_Ava took her time to reply. It wasn’t until she had lain down on the bed and Sara had settled, curled onto one side, her body tangled around Ava’s with her head resting on her shoulder, that she deigned to give Sara a response “I know you think you’ve won, but there’s no way there’s going to be a round three tonight, babe. I’m exhausted. I’m afraid all of your efforts have been in vain.”_

_Sara let out a snort and exclaimed with feigned annoyance “Technically it would be round four, if you count the shower thing. And don’t tell me you had forgotten because I know you loved it. Besides, don’t you dare think my efforts have gone to waste. First of all, this...” she said pointing her index finger at them and drawing circles in the air “...feels like heaven. Secondly, being naked increases the chances of you being prone to morning sex”_

_“What—?”_

_“Shhh. Let me finish, gorgeous— and thirdly” Sara’s voice turned lower and softer making her sound vulnerable “being this close to you somehow has the ability to keep my nightmares at bay.”_

 

***********************************************************

 

“Howdy, Ava. Good you’re here. I was just about done testing a theory that may aid us. How’s Sara?” Seeing Ray had apparently recovered at least part of his usual enthusiasm, Ava noticed a boost of her own expectations.

“Sara was still holding on when I left but she was showing signs of exhaustion. I think me being there was only making things worse for her so I’ve been searching the library trying to find anything that might help with the spirit. Gary will let us know if her condition changes. Tell me you have good news. How is— What the hell, Ray? Is that a steak?”

“Yep” he added mysteriously while he kept on feeding electrical impulses to a piece of meat and smiling to himself. “Well, technically it’s a beef clod, but don’t worry, Gideon fabricated it. No animal has been harmed in the making of this experiment.”

“Ray”

“Alright, alright. All I can tell you is that, although I can’t offer you a solution yet, I think we’re definitely onto something”

“Really? Thank god. What is it? Is there anything that I can do?”

“We have to take into account that this is all theoretical, though, and we are travelling in uncharted waters, alright?

“Ray. Cut to the chase”

“Right. Look. If we subject Sara’s body to a current of ten milliamperes and increase if gradually until a little under eighty milliamperes we should be able to excite the molecules enough so that the vibration makes the two beings separate. The entity should stay unfused, although still in Sara’s body, for as long as the current is on. It’s like when speedsters go through walls.”

“So we’d have both Sara and the anima as two different entities but occupying the same space?”

“Correct. We can’t keep it going for long. Yet, although that will not give us time to perform the whole exorcism, we should have a window to extract the anima in some other way. That is if we can find another way”

“Maybe we could lure it out”

“We’ll need a big fish for that. I mean, I don't know if you've ever faced it, but Sara’s dark side, whatever she brought with her from the grave, is pretty big”

“Yes. But Constantine said the creature might not have been all happy about that. If it’s as trapped as Sara, maybe we can offer a succulent enough bait”

"Ok. We'll work with what we have"

Before any of them had time to react to the idea, they heard a portal opening nearby and hurried voices that were soon joined by steps approaching. Nate, who had steeled up at some point, was helping a wounded Gary walk, followed by Mick, apparently unharmed, and Constantine, who gave Ava a meaningful look lacking his usual cockiness that said _I told you so_

“We have a problem, guys”

 

***************************************************************

_Ava used her free hand to stroke Sara’s hair while she pressed her lips to her girlfriend’s forehead “Do you wanna talk about your nightmares?_

_“Not really. I know I should address them someday, but I’m not ready yet. I was actually hoping you’d want to talk about…something else”_

_“What else do you have in mind?”_

_“You know, the thing— the fact that you were born in Canada?”_

_“What? Damn. I suppose that makes me Canadian, doesn’t it? I hadn’t realized that. Although if you think about it, seeing who’s occupying the White House, and who’s president in Canada, I’d call it an upgrade”_

_Sara let out a chuckle and poked Ava on the side. “You’re as American as I am, and we’re both stuck with a douchebag of a president. I’m not talking about that. You know what I mean”_

_“You are allowed to say the C-word, Sara.”_

_“Cunt?”_

_“‘Clone’, you dummy. But FYI the other C-word is off limits from now on” Both women burst out laughing._

_“I wasn’t sure it wouldn’t bother you if I brought up the clone thing. You never do”_

_“Don’t be silly. You can talk to me about anything, ok?”_

_“I know, I know. It’s just —I know it’s a delicate subject, and something tells me you haven’t dedicated enough time to deal with it”_

_“I’ve been so busy at the Bureau, you wouldn’t even believe it. Have I told you how many reports I’ve had to write? How many meetings I have scheduled for next week?”_

_“There’s no way we’re talking about that right now. You’re deflecting, honey. Besides, your work is sooo boring”_

_“It has its perks”_

_“Like what?”_

_“I get to be your boss, for example.”_

_Sara chuckled “You don’t need your job for that” she said as she planted a kiss on Ava’s cheek causing her to beam._

_“Seriously, I try not to think about the fact that I’m a clone, to be honest. But it’s always there, I guess. Like a shadow. Something you don’t notice most of the time, but it’s never gone. You can’t get rid of it, and it takes over everything at night, when a shadow becomes the only thing you see.”_

_“You should talk to someone about this. I understand if you don’t want that person to be me but, I don’t know, maybe you should see a shrink?” Ava creased her brow making Sara chuckle again “I see you like the idea. I’m here for you, but I can only listen, and a specialist may help you come to terms with the whole situation in a way I can’t.”_

_“I hate that it makes sense, but no shrinks. There would be too much to explain. I’d have to kidnap one and flash them every time once I was done”_

_“Yup. We’re not gonna do that. Talk to me, then. I want you to know that I’m here and I want to help you get through this, in whatever way you need me to, even if it needs kidnapping a shrink.”_

_A few minutes went by, without any of the women saying anything. They merely exchanged caresses which appeared to be a better option than saying something that might not sit well. Sara’s fingers were drawing patterns over Ava’s belly when, moved by the sense of security built around them, Ava finally broke the silence._

_“There are good days, when I feel almost normal.” Ava sighed “Others, I catch myself referring to something that I suddenly realize has never happened, or that most likely happened to someone else whose memories I’ve inherited, and I get this feeling inside my chest, like I’ve just realized I forgot to turn off the stove when I left the house, and then I carry that sensation with me for hours, until I think I’m going to go insane.”_

_Ava paused, unsure if it would be wise to continue or if she could manage to at all, fact that was immediately noticed by Sara, who nuzzled Ava’s neck and started delivering kisses along her jawline all while drawing patterns with her thumb over her girlfriend’s belly. The soothing effect was instantaneous causing in Ava a sudden need to continue her narration._

_“That’s not the worst, though. I actually feel relieved that my childhood memories aren’t real. That explains why I didn’t truly feel any connection to the people in them. What bothers me is that I can’t draw the line where my fake memories end and my real life began and I’m not even sure I’d want to know.”_

_“You can know” Sara interrupts “Rip erased the files from the archives to prevent anyone from getting their hands on them, but Gideon has a backup copy that only the Captain and the Director of the Time Bureau can have access to. Also, Rip told me a few things about you that…”_

_“No. I —I’m not ready to dig into it yet, or to discuss Rip. He— Sometimes I miss him so much, and think of everything he did for me as my mentor. God, he was my friend —or so I thought — Then I remember what he did, how he deemed the other clones and me unworthy of being considered individuals, of making our own decisions; how he replaced us one after another without even caring that he didn’t have a right to do that, and I wish he were alive so that I could kill him myself. How could he do this to me?”_

_“Rip was a wonderful man most of the time, only his head was often so far up his ass that he couldn’t see how much of a bastard he could become when he got obsessed with something. But he cared about you, I know that much, and he thought of you as a good friend.”_

_“He didn’t seem to care when eleven of my predecessors died. He didn’t care that he was treating me like a computer he could reset to factory values. God, Sara. I can’t even be certain it was really me at the Bureau when I first met you. What if it was a different Ava?”_

_“Why is it so important? You hated my guts back then”_

_“I thought I hated you but the truth is, you stirred something in me that very same day. I can’t believe it took me so long to see I was developing this gigantic crush on you.”_

_“Really? I knew right away that I wanted to get into your pantsuit.”_

_“I’m not talking about that. I noticed the sexual attraction right away. It was frustrating. It’s the way my chest exploded whenever our eyes met what surprises me that I somehow managed to ignore.”_

_“If it helps, I was in denial about that for longer than you. I was so afraid I’d screw up”_

_“Which you did”_

_“Which I did.” Sara concedes “Thank you for having me back, by the way”_

_“As if I could say no to you.”_

_“That’s what I’m counting on for every time I screw up in the future”_

_“That’s hopeful”_

_“I’m not the best at relationships.”_

_“You are doing fine”_

_“Have you forgotten our first date?”_

_“About that… Something’s been bugging me.”_

_“Tell me”_

_“If I can’t know when I became this Ava, How do I even know that Ava was me?”_

_“I don’t know if there’s any way to prove it, but I’m sure you are the Ava I fell in love with. Rip said you were different.”_

_“How can I know for sure? I need to be able to tell what’s real and what isn’t if I want to move forward”_

_“We may be able to pinpoint a starting point for your timeline”_

_“How?”_

_“Have you ever got hurt on a mission? Like badly hurt”_

_“I was in an explosion about three years ago. I don’t know what happened, but I woke up in the hospital with a formidable concussion. And I had got shot in the back a few months before”_

_“Babe. You don’t have any bullet scar on your back. That means we can assume the person who was shot, if it really happened, wasn’t you.”_

_Ava let out a sigh that wasn’t left unnoticed._

_“Is this too much?”_

_Ava took a while to reply “No. No. It’s working. It’s actually… grounding. It makes sense seeing how I don’t remember much from that time.”_

_Sara slides her hand down Ava’s arm until her fingers meet the roughness demarcating scar tissue “How did you get this one here?”_

_“That one’s on you. I landed badly when you pushed me out of the way of the saber-tooth tiger and scratched my arm.” Then she adds in a much lighter tone “I guess that makes me your Ava”_

_“See? I told you so. I knew that already. I can tell my girlfriend apart from any other woman even though they may look exactly as gorgeous”_

_“Now, how do I know that the first night I spent here wasn’t my first time entirely?”_

_Sara lifted her head eying Ava, panic drawn all over her face. “God. That would have been awful for a first time; I was ravenous for you, I was blunt and not delicate enough and—”_

_“—and you made me feel wanted and loved and you took care of me… and you were giving me those heart eyes when I first woke up next to you. Besides, it’s not like I was really inexperienced. I mean, fake or not, my previous memories of sex gave me some reference to know what to do. It felt like I knew what I was doing.”_

_“I can vouch for that. Still, if it was indeed your first time, I wish I had known back then. I’d have tried to make it different somehow.”_

_“It was perfect for me, Sara. It was truly memorable. And it felt… genuine.”_

_“Good. It was special to me too, y’know? After all this time on the ship, it felt like everything was the way it should at last; like after all these years I was finally... home.”_

_Ava felt her chest flutter at those words “I think I can relate to that” Sara pressed her mouth to Ava’s in response, then nuzzled against her neck and tightened her grip on her._

_“I’m yours, Director Sharpe” Sara muttered._

_Ava had to wait until the lump in her throat had disappeared to be able to utter a response._

_“I’m yours, Sara Lance”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll introduce 13 in the next chapter, which has been written for a while. I didn't like how this chapter was coming along, so I had to wait until I found it acceptable to upload it. I hope you enjoy. Leave your comments!


	5. A Stitch in Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sara remembers the first time she felt death claim her, while the demons threaten to finally take over her. In the meantime Ava decides on a plan that can bring back things to normal.  
> Also, 13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title is a reference to Stitch, for obvious reasons.

Sara knew the minute she stopped feeling her body that something was going terribly wrong. The numerous times she’d been close to death before had been nothing compared to what she was going through at that moment. She was a warrior, she was supposed to go as one, fighting an epic battle, not consumed by a demon that had her weakened until her flame was extinguished.

The numbness brought back the memories from the first time she almost drowned. Sara had noticed that day too how everything was lost, she was lost.

_Only water and darkness surrounded her. The fact that there was still oxygen in her lungs simply meant her brain had the energy to focus on the chaos gathering in her chest, on how there was no south, east or north, no up and down; on how she was dying with each passing second. Once her brain started lacking its nourishment, only a few seconds later, and the panic had been washed away —almost literally —she could finally focus on the only thing that mattered, reaching the surface. The only problem then was that almost all of her energy had left her body, maiming her mobility. It was as if her body had given up on her, and nothing but her mind was left standing, clinging onto dear life. She understood and started making her peace, thinking about her mom and dad, about Laurel and how lucky she’d been to have them. And just when she was ready to let go, she remembered why she was there. The betrayal. She would never be able to apologize to her parents for lying, or to Laurel for her treason. And just like that, out of nowhere, the past images of a happy childhood gave way to an infinity of future memories that she had never lived but she knew were hers, memories filled with faces she was yet to meet if she managed to hold onto life._

_Laurel_

_All that was left in her focused on her beloved sister, on how she needed to go back to her and gain her forgiveness, and her body responded with a final effort allowing her limbs to finally move, heavily, pushing her the last meters up to the surface, sending painful requests for air to her already drained lungs._

It had been then, as her body emerged from the dark waters and her hands held onto a large piece of wreckage gasping for air that Sara Lance, the insecure youngest daughter, the dropout, the selfish, irresponsible sister had died, and Ta-er al-Sahfer, the fighter, seeker of redemption, was born.

This time there was no water but a maddening darkness she didn’t know how to breach, spreading from within. This time there was no surface to swim to, no apparent exit. This time, the last memory she had as the demons finally took control of her soul was the face of the only woman who could anchor her to the world of the living. “Sorry Aves” she muttered hoping the other woman would know that Sara had done everything in her power to stay, that for the first time in her life, she was where she belonged, with whom she belonged. Then, gathering her last strengths and placing them in a final conscious breath, she let out a warning in the shape of a heartbreaking howl. “RUN”

 

********************************************************

As soon as Ava had made sure Gary’s wounds were mostly superficial and that no one else had been hurt, she started listening to whatever Nate had been saying. Apparently Sara had lost the fight and the darkness within, together with the lesser spirit, had taken complete control. The resulting creature, which had been strong enough to break out from the containment prison, had gone straight to attack Constantine but Gary had pushed him out of harm’s way and had been knocked down instead. Nate had intervened giving them enough time to make their fortunate escape.

Ava stood quiet for a few seconds aware that all the eyes were set on her. She found it surprising that she knew perfectly well what she wanted to ask, but she wasn’t sure if she was ready to hear the answer. The Bureau Director inhaled deeply a few times before she managed to utter the question. When she spoke, her words came out as if she was in absolute control. Only her eyes, pleading, betrayed her act “Is Sara still there somewhere?”

Constantine grabbed both of Ava’s arms and squeezed lightly. Ava blinked surprised by the  unexpected sweet gesture “There’s no way we can know for sure at this point. But I’m afraid we’ve run out of time. As far as we know the beast may have become invincible. If that is the case, we’ll have to seal the cave in a time prison”

“That won’t be necessary. I know what to do to stop it and save Sara...” Ava swallowed “...in case there’s still a Sara to save” Her gaze swept the room scrutinizing everyone’s eyes. “But I’m going to need all of you to trust me” Mick, who somehow had already managed to get his hands on a beer lifted the bottle into the air for all response. One by one, the rest of the team members, all but Constantine, expressed their approval. Ava felt between amazed and relieved that they would follow her leadership in the absence of their captain. Her eyes were last set on Zari, who had been last to arrive and had a puzzled expression but nodded nonetheless.

“You, little minx. You’re gonna have the world destroyed. Can’t you see there’s no time?”

“We are in a time ship. Time is what we have.” Then looking at the ceiling, she yelled “Gideon. Jump to the temporal zone.”

“As you wish, Director Sharpe”

“That will buy us some time. Now, Constantine, I’m gonna need your help. Please, trust me. I know what I’m doing.”

Constantine held her stare sporting an unreadable expression for what seemed like ages, then he let out a grunt, although his face had lit up and there was a smirk depicted on his face that seemed to indicate he was having the time of his life. “Damn. You’re fucking mad, woman. Now, tell me what this damn insane plan of yours is.”

“First of all, you’re gonna have to lose that trenchcoat.” Ava noted, grimacing “Then I’m gonna need you and Ray to come with me”

 

*********************************************************************

 

The damn movie was the first thing that had got her in trouble. She had been on the job only for a few days when she was left in charge of watching over the patients in the children’s oncology ward while they were all sitting quietly, curled up in the hospital chairs, which looked too big for their weakened tiny bodies, all staring at the screen in awe.

All that it took was a stupid dark blue cartoon alien, a made up creature that was proving to be a liability to the protagonist, a little girl, more than anything else, A creature that should have been annoying if anything according to logic, but who uttered the three words that would change the course of her life forever: _‘I’m lost’_

She felt it in her heart, aware for the first time in her short life of the existence of said organ beating in her chest, pumping blood at a different pace than usual, fast, scared, sending waves of heat all over her body and coloring her cheeks of crimson, fact that made her wonder if she was contracting a disease of some sort.

‘ _I’m lost’_ She felt those words as her own, unable, from that instant until the moment she exhaled her dying breath, to see herself as anything but a unique individual with free will; one who, back then, had yet to find her place.  

She jumped up startled when she felt something wet on her face, not realizing what it was until it was too late and she had attracted the attention of the other workers, the ones who weren’t like her, who weren’t clones. For a moment she forgot she wasn’t a robot and was afraid that she may short-circuit if the saline solution somehow touched something it shouldn’t. That’s why when the wet trail reached her lips she wiped the tears and thought neutral thoughts: the list of bones in the human body, the procedure to sterilize an operating room, the steps to take during a liver transplant.

She should have known something was wrong once the movie was over. The doctors and nurses had started turning their voices into whispers or making them stop completely once she was within earshot. Once her shift was over, two employees from the AVA corporation picked her up, as usual, but the van where they were driving her around the city wasn’t carrying others like her and the route it took, going east, was taking her away from the city.

She knew they thought something was wrong with her, and she didn’t want to face the consequences of her lapse, so instead of asking all the questions that were piling up in the tip of her tongue, instead of trying to explain, she just sat perfectly still, blinking at regular intervals, her face showing no sign of the inner battle going on in her brain.

The engineers were eying her, suspicion written all over their faces. However, she knew what she had to do so that her real self would go inadverted into the eyes of the people performing tests on her, and after going through a thorough examination, it was concluded that the tears must have been the result of a foreign body in her eye.

She became extremely careful in the wake of the incident and avoided contact with the rest of the hospital workers. It soon became inevitable, though, that she would begin to care for the children she looked after. Most patients were always accompanied by one of their parents or another relative, but there were always some who had no family, or the children of single parents who could not afford to skip work all the time and often had to be absent to continue paying the bills...

AVA understood that when a child was moody, unpleasant or even aggressive, this was because they were very ill due to the treatment, that they were nauseous, exhausted after days of torture without being able to get out of their beds, and, above all, due to fear and uncertainty. In consequence, whenever she had some free time, she took the trouble of getting small things that would make the stay of the children in the hospital more pleasant; She devoted herself to learning jokes and riddles, to get them their favorite treats, stuffed animals and other small toys with which to keep them entertained and to spend as much time as she could with them.

At first he found it difficult to approach the kids even when she knew they needed someone. She had no experience in dealing with people and so she just sat by their side until they seemed not to notice her presence, and when they showed obvious signs of anxiety and fear, she would hold their hands, pass her hands lightly through their hair and read them stories.

Soon the other hospital workers, who had eyed her with mistrust at first, afraid that the AVAs could one day take over their jobs completely, began seeing her under a different light. That’s why, this time, when she lost her first patient and cried inconsolably for what felt like hours, no one snitched on her. One of the doctors, an elderly woman, even sat with her, put a steaming mug in her hands and walked her patiently through the emotions of processing death. “I know it’s hard, sweetie, but don’t let this defeat you” she said “The other patients need you” Then she put her arms around her and held her like that while Ava sobbed.

This AVA had never been held before. Being wrapped in someone else’s arms, a gesture so intimate, so healing and full of warmth, stirred something in her. AVA thought being held was the most wonderful sensation she’d ever experienced.

Death didn’t get any easier after that. However, she learnt how to deal with it so that it didn’t keep her from her duties. Little by little, her life entered a dynamics that made her content, she’d even say her life was perfect if it weren’t for the time of day she was snatched from the hospital and taken “home” with all the other AVAs that had been destined for lease. There, she had to pretend she was like them.

Everyday she scanned their faces carefully, in search of a sign that might indicate one of them was different, like her. And everyday her gaze was met with expressionless faces and empty stares. Once or twice she saw, or thought she saw, the same craving reflected in another clone’s eyes, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared leaving her wondering whether it had really been there or it was her eager mind what had made her see the things she secretly craved: knowing she was not alone, that some other AVA was flawed like her, swinging in between an existence as a mindless slave and a righteous wish to be as the people they were meant to serve; an AVA that had no past but wanted to make her own future an AVA that lived a half life, unable to define what her life was lacking, unable to put into words what she secretly knew but kept on trying to hide.

Years passed before everything went to hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shit is about to go down.


	6. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava discloses her true intentions to Constantine who is everything but happy.
> 
> We also see a flashback of the day Sara introduced Ava to her father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end approaches, my friends.

“If you only need someone to pose as a businessman, then why am I here? Anyone in the crew could do it”

“Well, first of all, I’m not sure Ray can tell a lie without babbling. Besides, I’ll need him in the lab. Mick is out of the question; he’d probably burn the whole facility to the ground. To be honest, I’m not even sure why Sara keeps him around. Same goes for you”

“Ouch”

“Sorry but I don’t trust you. Still, you’re the best man for this job”

“I’m the best actor, you mean”

“You’re a bastard and a manipulative liar. And your lack of scruples comes in handy”

“I’ll take that as a compliment, love.”

“Of course you will. And don’t call me love”

“Alright, pet. I kinda like your honesty. I may even start to like you and call you “pal” one day”

Ava rolled her eyes for all response. Constantine saw, amused, how a smirk started forming on Ava’s lips.

“If we manage to go through with this, I promise you’ll have all my respect.”

Constantine arched an eyebrow and stared at Ava’s mysterious expression. “Are you going to tell me what you’re planning to do? What am I supposed to be shopping for? Some advanced technological device? Why can’t you do it yourself?”

Ava avoided looking at him when she spoke “You are going to buy me. A clone of me, more precisely.”

“I didn’t know one could get a clone of themselves.”  

“Not everyone can. It’s complicated”

“Complicated how?”

“God. you have to know it all, don’t you?” Ava snapped exasperated.

“Well, I have the right to know what I’m getting into, don’t I? You’re gonna have to trust me”

Ava didn’t respond immediately. Instead, she joined her hands together as if she were praying and took them to her lips, in a gesture that indicated how conflicted she was feeling.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. Sara trusts you, and she’s usually a great judge of character.”

“Usually?”

“She sees in others what she wants for herself; a capability of change, of improvement. She needs to believe everyone can be redeemed of their sins because she needs forgiveness for the things she’s done. But not everyone is as strong as she is”

“Look. I’ve been trying to save Sara and I’m gonna follow you on this hunch not because you’re following a blind desire of not letting go, but because you know how much the world needs Sara Lance and how much it already owes her. And I’m following you because I trust you on this. But I’m gonna need you to trust me too.”

Ava let a few seconds pass, trying to find the right words to make Constantine understand without having to give a full speech “I’m a clone. I thought everybody knew. I was created equal to thousands of others like me to serve mostly as security and medical personnel. The Bureau bought me, and eleven other AVAs before me. They made everyone believe we were the same person after one died and was replaced by the next clone”

Constantine was quick to hide his shock. As he spoke, he directed a knowing look at Ava. “Why do we need another one of you?”

“Because we’ll need a vessel for the anima. One that won’t survive”

“But you can’t just sacrifice one. They are people. Just like you. They have a soul”

“Do they?”Ava’s eyes were closed, her lips pressed together as she waited for an answer.

“Of course they do. How do you think you have such powerful connection to Sara?”

“Good. You can rest assured. I promise I won’t let anyone get hurt”

Suddenly everything made sense to him. The melancholy that had surrounded Ava the minute the team had made it back to the ship with the news that hell had broken loose _—_ almost literally  _—_ the desperate aura around her, indicator of someone who knows she’s going to die.

“You’re going to sacrifice yourself?”

“Will you help me?”

“I can’t. Sara won’t forgive me”

“Sara won’t know”

“But why the clone? She’ll be different, She _—_ ”

“Gideon has a software that can give her my memories, my _—_ my feelings  _—_ She’ll pick up where I left, but she’ll know who she is. I owe her that at least. Once it’s all over, I’ll need you to get rid of my body and use this device on Sara.” Ava explained producing a flasher from a drawer and holding it in front of Constantine. “It’s already set. Just turn it on, point it to Sara’s eyes, press this button and she’ll forget she’s just seen me die. Then the next Ava will tell her the exorcism worked”

“I can’t. What you’re asking _—_ ”

“I already know you have no problem with telling lies. That’s all I’m asking you to do.”

“That was a low blow. And you’re asking me to sacrifice an innocent life.”

“I’m only asking you to lie to her.” Ava yelled, her nostrils flaring “I’ll do what needs to be done. I’ll be the sole responsible for my own death.” Constantine took a step back, appalled. Ava searched his eyes, looking for an answer. Still seeing confusion, she added, in an assertive voice “I’m begging you, Constantine. Please, you have to agree to this”

“Why would I choose her life over yours?”

“Because, as you said, the world owes her a great deal. Because she’s irreplaceable and I’m not. Because I can’t live knowing I didn’t do everything I could to save her. Besides, I’ve been struggling since I found out about my origins. I’m not sure I can manage to keep my sanity without her.”

“Have you heard yourself? Sanity is something you aren’t making use of anymore. Besides, why can’t she know the truth? Why do you need to be replaced?

“I’m afraid if she finds out I died for her, the guilt will awake something in her, something she’s managed to keep at ease, dormant. She’s told me about the time when you gave her back her soul, after Laurel resurrected her. The blood lust, the hatred. She doesn’t have her sister or her dad anymore. All she has left, her family, are the people in the Waverider and me. Making sure that doesn't end up screwed is the only way I can protect her from herself.” Constantine opened his mouth to protest, but she stopped him with a gesture. “I know. What right do I have? None. How do I know she won’t be strong enough to get over all of this? Honestly, I believe she would, eventually, but I’m not going to leave her with that burden, putting her through all the pain you and I know she doesn’t deserve when I can prevent it. Besides” She added with a sheepish smile “I have my selfish reasons too, of course. I can’t cease to exist without knowing my love can still find its way to her.”

“What if she finds out her Ava’s gone?”

“How could she? Same DNA, same memories.”

“You can’t transfer your soul.”

“We don’t have a choice and we don’t have time. You have to make up your mind. Are you up to it?”

When Constantine reached for her outstretched hand and shook it, he felt her relief and how her greyish blue eyes filled with a newly found determination. They both kept the contact for longer than it was needed, trying to find something humane, grounding, that would help them deal with the task before them.

 

********************************************************************

 

_Quentin Lance lifted his eyes from the cup of coffee in front of him and gazed at his daughter, scrutinizing with curiosity. Something was different about her since they last had met. Since the moment they had been reunited after taking her for dead, to be more precise. Whatever had been there since she’d gone down with the Queens’ Gambit, spiralling into the depths of her own sea of sorrow; the shadow that had always been present, an invisible barrier separating Sara from other people, shielding her from her own emotions; the whole hybrid mask made of self-hatred, guilt, fear and pain was nowhere to be seen the second she had appeared in front of him, an ear-to-ear grin drawn on her beautiful face. He could tell Sara hadn't been holding back her feelings when she'd hugged him back on arrival. There was no trace of the melancolic air that used to surround her anymore. On the contrary, the woman who was sitting opposite him... she had that girlish smile, a brightness about her that had been absent for over a decade._

_“Sorry I was late, dad”_

_“It’s ok. It’s only been five minutes. Although I thought punctuality was a must do when one captains a timeship.”_

_“I had to take a call.”_

_“Problems with work?”_

_“No, no. It’s good news actually. I wanted you to meet someone today. I just got confirmation that she can make it”_

_“She? Are we talking about a girlfriend?”_

_“Yup”_

_“Oh my god. Is that why you look in such good spirits? We need to celebrate this. Should I order something else worthy of a toast? We can’t toast over coffee. Do you want a milkshake?”_

_“Daddyyyyyy. Don’t make this embarrassing”_

_“Are you aware that this is the first time you’ve introduced me to one of your partners? Voluntarily, I mean.”_

_“Daaaaad.” Sara's even broader smile and the blush creeping to her cheeks gave away her faux grumbling._

_“Well. It’s true, isn’t it?. You only ever introduced me to your boyfriends at high school because you knew I’d find out if you were seeing someone behind my or your mother’s backs and you’d be grounded for life. You even kept Nyssa hidden from us for as long as you could.”_

_“My reasons to keep her a secret were different”_

_“I know, honey. I’m just happy to see you like this” He said gesturing at her proudly “I take it this mysterious woman who has you smiling uncontrollably isn’t an assassin then?”_

_“Nope. But she can kick ass. She’s soooo smart and can be such a nerd sometimes... she’s adorable. And gorgeous. Oh my god she’s so gorgeous, dad. And perfect. And tall. And she knows everything about me. Even the things I’m afraid to put into words. And she loves me in spite of my past. And she makes everything about life so uncomplicated._

_“It did hit you hard this time, girl. I take it you’ve been together for a while, then?”_

_“Not really. Just a few months during which I screwed up and almost became a demon and then she saved me, then I panicked and screwed up a bit more and ditched her, then I tried to help her with something —which reminds me, don’t ask about her past— and we realised we were miserable without each other so we got back together.”_

_“Wait, what? You almost became a demon?”_

_“Yeah” Sara replied nonchalantly “it’s one of the perks of having been dead. I’m ok now, and the demon’s gone for good. I’ll tell you all about it later, I promise.”_

_“Ok. You’d better stay out of danger, alright? Oh. Forget it. I forgot who I was talking to. Couldn’t you have become a college professor like your mother?”_

_“You know you were always my hero.” Sara reached for his father’s hand and gave it a squeeze that was meant to be reassuring “Fighting for a cause is what I do best”_

_“I know. Just… be careful, will you?”_

_“I promise” Sara felt like she was telling a lie, as dozens of memories where she almost died, or literally died, came back to her. “Same goes for you. I’ve heard things here are taking a turn for the worse”_

_“Enough of that for now. Let’s focus on my baby girl. Tell me, what’s the lucky woman's name? You haven’t said it yet.”_

_Sara looked at her father nervously “I may have mentioned her once or twice when I talked to you these past few months. She’s the Director of the Time Bureau. Her name is Ava. Ava Sharpe.”_

_“The agent that wanted to have you and your team killed? Ava the insufferable, stick-up-her-ass agent Sharpe?”_

_Before Sara could reply or explain herself in any way, someone burst out laughing nervously next to them. “That would be me, I’m afraid.” Ava’s hair was down, cascading in waves over her shoulders giving her an angelic appearance that was far from resembling the type of heartless bitch Sara had described to her father all those months back. Sara gladly appreciated how she’d ditched her pantsuit in favor of a much more casual outfit made up of a dark pair of leggins combined with an oversized sweater and ankle boots. “Nice to meet you Captain Lance. I hope you don’t believe half the things Sara’s told you about me. I only wanted to have them arrested, maybe exiled, but never killed” Ava offered her hand. Quentin stood up and grabbed it with both his hands looking intensely into the woman’s eyes for a few seconds after which, satisfied with what he’d seen, he pulled her into an embrace. “Call me Quentin, Ava. I believe I owe you a thank you._

_“What? No. Why?” She asked disentangling herself from the overwhelming demonstration of affection._

_“Sara says you saved her life”_

_“She saved my life too”_

_“Three times” Sara added teasingly. Next, she stood up and delivered a quick peck on Ava’s lips. When she sat down again, she almost dragged Ava with her by the hand and didn’t let go even once they were sitting close together in the cozy booth._

_“I knew you were keeping score”_

_The looks Sara and Ava were exchanging would have made anyone coo over them, so this was almost too much for the proud father of one of the lovebirds, who could barely hide his enthusiasm “Still, I’m so happy to meet someone who can bring my daughter’s true self to light again. I didn’t think that person could exist”_

_“As much as it pains me, I can’t take credit for that, Captain Lance. Quentin” Quentin, who had arched his eyebrows on hearing the formal way to address him, nodded in approval at the use of his first name “All of Sara's achievements are her own doing. Being a captain suits her well. I think she’s simply found her place”_

_“Yeah. I’m sure she has”_

 

_********************************************************************_

_“I can’t believe my dad asked you about college. I specifically told him not to ask you about the past.”_

_“It’s fine, Sara. Really. He probably thought I had been bullied as a child or that I’d been deployed in a war zone and seen horrible things I didn’t want to bring up. I think he took the fact that his daughter is dating a clone from the future that has existed only for a few years very well, considering the circumstances.”_

_“I knew he would. He loves you already. Did you see how he almost freaked out when he thought I had somehow purchased you?”_

_“Then he was all horrified and supportive when he learned I had been bought by the Bureau. He’s a great man. You’re very lucky to have him”_

_“I’m very lucky to have you. He also mentioned how much Laurel would have loved you. I’m sure you’d have loved her too.”_

_When Ava didn’t give a response, Sara slackened her pace and turned her head to look at Ava, worried that the conversation with her dad about being a clone might have upset her_

_"I'm ok, Sara. Sorry, I got carried away by my own thoughts. It's been great to be able to tell someone and not feel judged. I still have to accept it will take years for me to fully adjust to this situation, but days like this one help"_

_"Still. You shouldn't have to talk about it with someone you just met, especially when you have a lot of unanswered questions."_

_Sara felt a little squeeze of appreciation in the hand Ava was holding._

_"I know you have my back, hon"_

_Sara let go of Ava's hand and placed her arm around her girlfriend's waist. On her tiptoes, she pressed a kiss to her cheek and then she whispered in her ear, letting her hand slide sloppily to her lower back and little by little towards her rear end. "And your butt"_

_Ava chuckled and started looking for the keys to her home in her purse. “Are you staying at my place tonight?”_

_“It’d be weird to sleep alone after all these weeks. Unless you don’t want me to stay?”_

_“What do you think, you goober?”_

_Sara stood quietly for a moment lost in the sensations that being close to Ava caused in her. She was rarely struck by the thought, like the first days after they had got back together, that they were going too fast, and maybe Ava would get cold feet. Being together felt natural, as if every move, every step they took together was meant to happen. She realized with awe that she could barely picture a life without the other woman next to her anymore._

_“I think this feels right”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one more week for the second half of the season!


	7. Angel of Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava has to make a choice between keeping a promise or following the logical path. Life, as always, has other plans for her.

Ava took a step back and contemplated the results. Constantine was clean shaven, wearing a neat suit that fit him like a glove, his hair neatly combed to one side and still he looked as if he’d been taken out of a roadside brothel dumpster. His cocky attitude was reflected on every look and every gesture and he looked nothing like a hungry millionaire. Ava sighed hoping the panic she felt rising was unfounded. At least his confidence would be helpful here. 

“Do you understand what you have to do?”

“I’m not an idiot, Sharpie. And even if I was, you’ve explained it enough times for a stone to understand”

“Were.”

“What?” 

“‘Even if I were’. You must sound like you belong. You’re supposed to be an educated businessman trying to do business.”

“I know. But right now I’m talking to you. I don’t need to get into character before I go in there”

“Then humor me, please. I’m about to have a heart attack and thinking right now everything depends on you is making it worse.”

“I love you too, Sharpie”

“You’re not taking this seriously!”

“I use sarcasm as a coping mechanism! It helps me be in control. And the being cool part is just natural to me.” 

“I’m scared to death. My coping mechanism is yelling at people what they have to do. So deal with it”

“You’re such a turn on, you know that?”

Ava huffed and ignored the way their lips had started curving upwards at every cheeky remark Constantine came up with “I’ll be giving you instructions via radio all the time. So, don’t improvise.”

“Wait. You’re not coming?”

“I can’t. How would you explain owning an AVA when you haven’t purchased one before? They keep a list of all their customers. I’ll be here on the jumpship in case you need help. Are you ready?”

“As ready as can be”

“Off you go, then.” Ava gestured impatiently towards the exit. Constantine turned around rolling his eyes. Before he could think of something poignant to say, Ava said, through a sad smile and in a much softer tone “Good luck. And thank you. You’re not half as bad as I thought you were. I may even like you a little.”

“Look who’s going soft. You’re not who I thought you were, either.”

“I think you mean  _ ‘whom’ _ ” Ava added. They both stared at each other for a brief moment. Then Constantine disappeared arching his eyebrows with a huff and a playful smirk on his lips.

 

***********************************************************

__

_ Just as she said goodbye to Starling city, it started to rain. Sara wanted to cry like the sky as the idea that she was an angel of death began taking form on her mind. Once again, someone close to her had died, someone good who should have lived a long life. And she got to live another day in the meantime. Once again, the idea to reshape the world, to bring them all back breathed temptation into her ears.  _

_ Knowing she had chosen not to bring Laurel back and that, in spite of all the power she had in her hands, she was bound to let the idea of bringing back her dad go eventually, only added to the guilt that was already crushing her. But a power that dangerous couldn’t be tampered with; it should never be unleashed. And that she knew. _

_ She had considered staying to fight; to get justice for her father, but she knew it would be nothing but sheer revenge what would lead her moves if she chose to go down that path. That the hatred accumulating in her chest would devour her. The overwhelming emotion spread like poison through her veins feeding a thirst for blood that would never be satisfied. She knew her anger should only be directed towards the evil monster that had shot her dad, and towards an even greater monster; a city which, no matter how desperately people kept fighting for, always found ways to make those who dared believe in redemption disappointed and broken. But Sara  was mad at Oliver, too. She almost hated him for not protecting him, for dragging the only thing that was pure, the only person that was left for her in the city into harm’s way, once and again until Quentin Lance, her hero, had lost his last battle.   _

_ However, Sara knew she was mostly mad at herself for being unable to stop death from happening, or more accurately, for fearing the consequences of doing so.   _

_ That’s why she had not called Ava or texted her since someone had called to tell her her dad had been shot. No matter how much she had craved her presence, her healing touch. She knew that, as soon as Ava had found out about her father’s passing, she’d have made sure Sara didn’t change the timeline. The need to cling to that possibility was now ridiculously small compared to the need to hold her.  _

_ Sara hadn’t cried since she’d left the hospital, but she noticed a lump forming in her throat again as she realized that part of the heavy weight she was carrying in her heart would disappear as soon as she had Ava’s arms wrapped around her. After having ignored her girlfriend for over a day and showing up at her home unannounced, she decided to use the front door instead of portalling in. Ava, who was sitting on the couch surrounded by paperwork, got to her feet the minute she heard her come in. Sara felt a pang in her stomach as soon as she noticed the concern emanating from the other woman’s eyes.   _

_ “Hey. What’s going on?. I was worried” _

_ Sara got closer as the first tears started welling in her eyes, turning Ava into a blur. She took a deep breath, preparing herself to admit for the first time that her worst fear had become real “He’s dead, Ava. My dad is gone.”  _

_ Sara’s arms hung limp at her side. Two thin streams started gliding down her cheeks from her eyes, now shut “Oh my god, Sara” Ava walked the distance between them and held her close. _

_ After a few minutes in that position, Sara’s breathing had gone back to normal. She shifted her position slightly so that she could gaze into Ava’s eyes. “Can you make me a promise?” _

_ The red coloring her eyes around the irises accentuated the surreal blue of Sara’s eyes. Ava thought she saw the real Sara Lance unveil before her for the first time, the everlasting darkness and light, the relentless woman who’d died countless times, the soul of someone who was all powerful but had chosen to rely and lean on her. The sight took her breath away, so she could only nod in response.  _

_ “I’ll understand if things between us change in the future. I know maybe the day comes when we’re not together anymore.” _

_ “Sara—” _

_ “I just need to know— I don’t think I could handle it if—” Sara sighed “Ava, don’t die. Please, don’t you ever die.” _

 

***********************************************************

 

Ava felt a wave of panic spreading through her body the second she heard the alarm. It couldn’t have been Constantine. She had to grant him the fact that he’d stuck to his role perfectly. He’d identified himself as the CEO of a large contractor firm which provided large companies in the world of private security with both strategies and workforce. He had started by inquiring about the AVAs nonchalantly, as if he didn’t think they were worth his time. Then, after a short tour that left a lot of unanswered questions in the world of work ethics and made clear that the AVAs had been created to overcome what was considered to be human “limitations”, Constantine agreed to purchase a unit as bodyguard-assistant and, if he was satisfied, his firm would place a substantially large order in what they believe, would be the first of many future transactions.

The alarm was accompanied by a message on a loop. “Alert, security breach. This is not a drill. Alert. All non personnel must leave the premises immediately for their own safety.”

As soon as Constantine was out of hearing reach he contacted Ava. “Hey. Was this you?”

“I have no idea of what triggered the alarm, but it wasn’t me.”

“Do you want me to just grab one of these women and go?”

“No. Come straight back. The clones would probably kill you if you as much as touched them. We can’t waste any more time with this and I’m not going to risk your life over this. Do as they tell you. I’ll meet you on the ship”

“They’ve locked me in a room. They say that this is for my own safety and they’ll be escorting me out in a minute but I think there’s something they don’t want us to find out. Here comes someone. I’ll contact you as soon as I can.” 

Ava sent a few curses into the air and refrained herself from punching a hole through the control panel of the ship. It took a few deep breaths for her to be able to focus again on the task at hand. Maybe if she could put an end to whatever intrusion the facility was facing, she thought, they would manage to find her replacement and take her back home. 

Taking a clone with them wasn’t strictly necessary, Ava knew as much, but she would be dead before getting to know if Sara was well and demon free, so knowing that there would be another version of her to keep fighting in case something went awry gave her the strength she needed to go on with the plan. There was also her promise to Sara.

“Gideon. Is there any chance that we can hack their coms? It’d be great to know what we’re dealing with” 

“Of course, Director Sharpe. Miss Tomaz’s expertise has provided my already advanced technology with some tools that currently allow us to hack almost any system without even breaking a sweat.”

“A simple ‘Yes’ would have sufficed, Gideon. You do realize you sound as if you had a crush on Zari, right?”

“I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean, Director Sharpe. I must admit working with Miss Tomaz has been stimulating and highly beneficial. Our exchanges often lead to mutual benefit. Are you suggesting I have human feelings?”

“I don’t know. Do you? You sound… excited”

“With all due respect, Director Sharpe. Insinuating I may have feelings is preposterous”

“Tell that to the people who made me.”

“Your correct functioning doesn’t depend on any software. Some neurotransmitters may be disrupted to prevent the so called feelings from happening in humans, but you can’t give an AI emotions. Why would anyone do that? Feelings are counterproductive.”

“I think this is the first time I’m inclined to disagree with you”

“The hacking is complete. You have access to their radio frequency now if you use any of the earplugs on board.”

“Thanks, Gideon. Wish me luck.”

“Good luck, Director Sharpe. The odds say you are going to need it”

Switching to autopilot mode, Ava got off the ship and headed to the underground entrance, located in the parking lot. She took a brief moment to think about all the times she had scolded Sara for acting hastily and irrationally and muttered "I'm sorry, babe." with a nostalgic smile on his lips.

An AVA guarding the entrance gave her the halt. It felt strange, being in front of someone with her face but who looked like she was empty inside. Ava wondered if they aged at a normal rate, or what happened to them when they were no longer fit to work. A shiver went down her spine. It was probably better if she didn’t know.  

As she moved forward, steadily and determined, she kept paying attention to the orders received through the earplug and was thinking about possible alibis as to why she was not wherever she was supposed to be.

There were 4 AVAs patrolling the elevator area. She was surrounded and restrained as soon as they located her. She complied, offering no resistance. One of the clones scanned her eyes with a device unlike anything Ava had seen before. 

“Not the target” she announced to no one in particular. Then turning to her, she added “You must remain here until the lockdown has been lifted. No one without an express authorization can enter or leave the premises”

Ava stood by their side thinking of a way to distract them all and go upstairs unnoticed

Gideon’s voice interrupted her thoughts all of a sudden, making her jump  “Director Sharpe. Ms Tomaz is hailing you from the Waverider.”, only to be immediately followed by the 

“I can’t believe you’ve taken Constantine instead of me. Especially when the mission involved hacking devices from the future. I hope you have a good excuse for that” Ava pretended to have heard a noise near some vehicles nearby and walked towards them, holding her hands nonchalantly behind her back

“Believe me, I do”

“You’re not getting away with this so easily. I’m going to make sure you get in and out, but you’re telling me everything when this is all over, and next time you get to pick a movie, I’ll choose.”

“Zari, please. This is urgent”

“I can hack into anything AND be snarky, Ava.”

“Any developments on Sara’s situation?”

“It seems the containment is working. We have an alarm in case anyone gets near the cave”

“Great.”

“Ok. So you want me to lower the elevator for you?”

“That won’t be enough” Ava replied as she pretended to check inside a large van “There are four guards here. Can you have Gideon create a fake alert message using a voice synthesizer to get them away from the elevator doors? And will you be able to send it down? It seems we need an access code”

It took the hacker a little bit to reply, which made Ava want to start screaming and kicking things.

“Wait a second.” Zari’s words gave way to a voice emulating the one from the previous messages which told the AVAs that suspicious movements had been detected in the -1 level of the parking lot and prompted the nearby units to check on it. Ava’s relief was cut short when she noticed only two of the guards were leaving while the other two remained in their posts. She started picturing different scenarios where she took out both AVAs, analyzing every time all the errors that would give her away and bring hell onto her. At least she counted with the element of surprise. She just had to time everything right so that they couldn’t ask for help. Zari’s voice suddenly snapped her out of her reverie “Good. Judging by how crappy the other coding was, I bet this is going to take me five sec… ha. There it goes. The doors should open in nine...”

As her two companions noticed the movement behind them, they turned around to check who or what was coming down. Ava’s brain was fuming due to the velocity of her thoughts. When she had finally decided on which course of action to follow, one of the clones rendered her plan useless by taking the com device around her wrist to her mouth, certainly not to do anything good. Without thinking, Ava hit her in the windpipe then slide kicked the other one and immediately grabbed her head and bumped it against the floor, knocking her out cold. Her attention moved then back to the other one, who was breathing with difficulty. Ava approached her and, ignoring the rabid animal look she threw her way, she put her arm around her neck and pressed where she knew the compression of blood vessels would block the flowing of oxygen to the brain causing her to faint. 

“...zero” Zari chanted while the elevator doors opened with a muffled ‘ding’ “Is everything ok? I’m hearing weird noises”

“Peachy”

Ava dragged the unconscious women inside and took their weapons, hoping she wouldn’t need to use them as shields, should anything happen. Quickly, she pressed the button to close the doors and took their weapons.

“Zari. do you happen to know where the hell I am supposed to go?”

“Gideon says the labs are on the upper floor. What exactly are you looking for, Ava?”

“We’ll talk later. I need to focus on this. Stay with me. I might need you again”

“Of course. I got your back”

Ava pressed the first button from the top and the words ‘insert code’ appeared on the screen 

“Oh my god. Zari. It requires a code again.” Ava squeaked nervously.

“Ok, the one I used before doesn’t seem to work for the lab. Give me a minute. In the meantime, try to remove the lid of the control panel.”

“It is screwed”

“Find something to use as a lever or it’s us who may be screwed”

“Zari, please. There’s no way I can open this by myself. I need you to hack my way up”

“Just be patient. I’m on it” 

The sound of a huff on Zari’s end startled her “Seriously? A guy from the IT department EMAILED the password to the Scientists who work there. How dumb can this dude be? And why don’t they log out after they use computers dozens of other people use?” 

“Does that mean we have it?”

“Yup. Or I think so, at least. The email is from last month so there’s the chance that they have already reset the passwords. Although judging by the way they run things, I very much doubt it. Punch in 4V4L48.” 

“4V… AVALAB. God, They probably even think it’s funny” Ava muttered to herself.

“Sorry what?”

“Never mind” After Ava had pressed the buttons, the elevator started moving. “It’s working. I don’t tell you this enough, Z, but I love you” 

“Remember that next time it’s your turn to pick a movie”

Ava let out a chuckle “I will” 

Immediately after she had uttered the words it hit her that she wasn’t going to be there next time. Someone else who would share her looks and every other aspect of her life, including her love for Sara, would occupy her place, but she would be gone and no one would miss her. She tried to ignore the lump in her throat and focused on the numbers on the screen that indicated the floor change. 

Ava counted the seconds taking the time to consider everything that could go wrong. If she ended up dead or incarcerated, there would be no one left to fulfill the plan. She knew there was too much at stake for her to be risking everything just so that her love for Sara wouldn’t die out with her. She had wasted enough time already. The right thing to do was to go back and trust the team would never give up on Sara if she failed. All her efforts at the moment should be focused on saving sara, but instead she had been trying to make sure their love for one another didn’t fade, to make sure Sara didn’t get mad at her for embracing death in her place, and all because of a stupid promise. All Ava could do was hope she could go back down as soon as the elevator had finished its way up, slip out of the complex unnoticed and make it back safely so that she could do what needed to be done, whatever the consequences. Sara would understand eventually.

She jumped startled on hearing Constantine’s words in her ear “Ava, I’m back on the ship. Where the fuck are you?”

“I’m on my way” she replied just as the elevator reached its destination and the doors in front of her opened with a loud “ding” revealing an undeniable truth; She was screwed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know It's taking me forever to upload. Sorry for the delay. I'd like to promise I'm going to post next one soon, but life has a way of not letting me write as often as I wish. Leave your comments and suggestions please. I hope you enjoyed it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for taking the time to read. I hope you enjoy reading it. Feel free to tell me what you think.


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